Chapter 7. Dealing with Distress and Despair

Climate change can evoke intense feelings of anxiety, grief, and even despair – especially for young people who will inherit its impacts. Climate anxiety refers to heightened distress about environmental changes and future threats, including emotions like fear, helplessness, anger, or sadness. These feelings are natural responses to a real crisis, not a personal weakness or mental illness. In fact, surveys find that around 59% of youth worldwide are very or extremely worried about climate change, and nearly half say this worry affects their daily life. Closer to home, three out of four Canadians report that climate change impacts their mental health, and a third feel hopeless about our ability to address it. You are not alone in feeling this way, and that’s exactly why it’s so important for young people to support each other. This chapter offers practical strategies – drawn from psychological first aid principles and trauma-informed communication – to help you help others who are struggling with climate-related anxiety or despair.

Recognizing Climate Distress: Climate anxiety can show up in different ways. A friend might express hopelessness about the future or say things like “what’s the point in studying if the planet is dying.” They might appear unusually angry or frustrated about inaction on climate issues, or conversely, withdrawn and unusually quiet. Common signs include persistent worry about future generations, grief over environmental losses, trouble sleeping due to intrusive thoughts, or even guilt about not doing “enough”. Pay attention if a peer frequently mentions feeling overwhelmed or notices physical symptoms of stress (like stomach aches or panic before climate-related events). These can be signals that they are in distress. Recognizing the signs is the first step in being there for them.

Start by Showing Up and Listening: It’s normal to feel unsure of what to do when a friend voices despair about climate change. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or feel tempted to cheer them up by changing the topic. However, one of the most helpful things you can do is to make space for the conversation. As one set of experts notes, avoiding the topic won’t protect our friends – instead, young people need safe opportunities to share their knowledge, fears, and feelings about climate change (1). So, if you sense someone is anxious or hurting, gently reach out. You could say something like, “I’ve noticed you seem down about the climate stuff lately. Want to talk about it? I’m here to listen.” Find a time and place where you both feel comfortable – somewhere quiet and private enough to talk openly. Just being there in a caring way can make a big difference.

When they do open up, listen actively and empathetically. Give them your full attention. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and really hear what they are saying. You don’t need to have answers. In fact, you likely won’t “fix” their worries in one chat – and that’s okay. Often, what people need most is simply to have their feelings acknowledged and validated. “A lot of people just need those feelings validated,” says Kady Cowan, who facilitates a climate anxiety peer-support group. You can validate someone by responding with statements that show you understand and accept their feelings: for example, “That sounds really scary – I can see why you feel overwhelmed” or “It’s understandable you feel angry, given what’s happening.” Research on trauma-informed dialogue emphasizes not to shy away from these difficult emotions. Instead, invite them: letting someone express sadness or fear is an important step toward healing (1) (1). Knowing that their feelings are heard and not judged can be an immense relief to a person who feels alone with climate despair.

What Not to Do: As you support a friend, maintain empathy and patience. Avoid responses that minimize or dismiss their feelings – for instance, don’t say “Oh, it’s not that bad” or “Everyone feels that way, you’ll get over it.” Such phrases, even if well-intended, can make someone feel unheard or trivialized. Take care not to jump in with simplistic solutions or forced optimism too quickly either. Remarks like “Just stay positive, I’m sure technology will fix it” can come off as empty reassurance, which doesn’t match the reality of their concerns. Similarly, don’t launch into political rants or debates if your friend is in emotional pain – this moment is about supporting them, not proving a point. Another common pitfall is getting so uncomfortable with their distress that you try to change the subject or make a joke of it. Humor and distractions have their place, but not at the expense of validating real feelings (1). Let your friend set the pace of the conversation. If they cry or vent, resist any urge to silence their tears – sometimes releasing emotions is exactly what’s needed. And importantly, don’t force help on them if they’re not ready. If you offer to talk or assist and they decline, respect that choice (but let them know the offer stands). Supporting someone means being present on their terms, not taking control. In short, be patient, avoid judgment, and don’t rush to “fix” them. Your calm, accepting presence is far more valuable than any perfect words.

Using Psychological First Aid (PFA) Principles: Psychological First Aid is a proven approach used in crises to provide immediate emotional support. It boils down to three core action steps often called “Look, Listen, Link”:

• Look – First, assess the situation. Is your friend in any immediate danger or extreme distress that needs urgent help? “Look” also means observing their state: Are they crying, shaking, or extremely withdrawn? Do they have basic needs (like feeling safe and not hungry or cold) that should be addressed? In practice, this might mean finding a safe, comfortable space for them to sit, or offering a glass of water or a warm hoodie if they’re in shock. Ensuring physical comfort and safety helps lay the groundwork for emotional support. Looking also means being aware of your surroundings and timing – for example, stepping away from a chaotic hallway to talk in a calmer spot. By looking, you’re basically checking: “What’s going on, and what immediate needs or dangers do we need to handle so we can talk?”

• Listen – This is the heart of PFA and of supporting someone with climate anxiety. Listening means approaching the person, introducing yourself (if they aren’t someone you know well), and inviting them to share. Encourage them to tell you what’s on their mind. As they talk, listen attentively and without interruption. Show that you’re following along – you can nod or give small verbal cues like “Mm-hmm” or “I hear you.” Ask gentle, open-ended questions to clarify: “What’s worrying you the most?” or “How long have you been feeling this way?” Be prepared: your friend may express fear, anger, hopelessness – or they may even avoid talking at first. They might say things like “I just feel numb” or “I think we’re doomed.” If they do, validate those feelings: “I get that. A lot of people feel doomed when they see X happening.” Keep your tone calm and compassionate. If they become agitated or panicky while talking, you can help them pause and breathe: try saying “Let’s take a breath together” and inhale slowly to model calmness. Listening also means letting there be silence when needed – you don’t have to fill every pause. Sometimes sitting quietly with someone while they process their feelings is part of the support. Throughout, prioritize empathy. Try to understand their feelings from their perspective (how things look through their eyes). Use phrases that reflect what they’ve shared: “It sounds like you’re especially worried about how this will affect your younger siblings, is that right?” This not only shows you care, it also helps them feel less alone in their experience. Remember, effective listening in these moments is active and compassionate – it’s not just hearing the words, but also attending to the emotions behind them.

• Link – After listening, the next step is helping your friend connect to any further support or information they might need. In PFA, “Link” often means connecting people to practical help, professional services, or social supports. In the context of climate despair, think about what would help your friend feel even a little better or less overwhelmed. Ask them, “What do you think would help you right now?” Their needs might be simple – maybe they’d feel better with some company, a hug (if appropriate), or help talking to a teacher or parent about how they feel. They might appreciate factual reassurance if they’re catastrophizing (for example, looking at credible information on what is being done to address climate change, if they feel like “no one is doing anything”). Be careful here: linking to information should be done sensitively – the goal is to empower, not to start a debate or lecture. If your friend feels hopeless because they believe “we’re doing nothing,” you might gently share a hopeful example, like “I know it seems hopeless, but did you know our city just passed a climate action plan? It’s a small step but it’s something.” Tailor this to what might encourage them personally. Perhaps they find hope in solutions around renewable energy, community gardens, or youth activism – referring to those can help shift the focus from doom to action. Research shows that turning anxiety into action can be beneficial, giving a sense of agency and hope. You could say, “Would you be interested in joining the environment club with me? It might help to do something active, even if it’s small.” If they’re up for it, connecting with others who feel the same can be powerful. For instance, climate-focused peer groups and “climate cafés” are popping up across Canada to let people share their eco-anxieties and coping strategies. Working together on solutions, whether it’s a local tree-planting project or attending a climate rally, can transform helplessness into camaraderie and purpose. On the other hand, linking might also mean guiding them to mental health resources. If your friend’s despair is deep or not improving, suggest that professional support could help. You might offer, “I can go with you to talk to the school counselor if you want,” or remind them of confidential helplines (for example, Kids Help Phone in Canada lets youth text or call 24/7 for support). Importantly, know your limits – you are a friend, not a therapist. If a peer is mentioning suicidal thoughts or showing signs of severe depression (like saying “I can’t go on” or feeling numb all the time), do not shoulder this alone. Encourage them to seek help from a trusted adult or mental health professional immediately, and if you’re ever truly worried about their safety, it’s okay to reach out to an adult yourself for guidance. Real friendship includes recognizing when someone needs more help than you alone can give.

Throughout these steps, respect your friend’s dignity and choices. Psychological first aid and trauma-informed practice both emphasize doing support with someone, not to them. This means asking what they need instead of assuming, offering help but not pushing if they’re not ready, and respecting cultural or personal boundaries. For example, some people might find solace in spiritual or cultural practices (like prayer or ceremony) when dealing with climate grief – if that’s the case for your friend, support them in it. Others might just want practical problem-solving. Follow their cues. By “linking” them with appropriate help – whether it’s a supportive group of friends, knowledge that eases their mind, or professional counseling – you empower them to cope in their own way.

Taking a Trauma-Informed Approach: Climate-related disasters (like wildfires, floods, or extreme storms) can be traumatic, and even hearing about them or imagining the future can overwhelm someone. A trauma-informed approach means being mindful of the deep impact such events can have on a person’s mental state, and adjusting how you communicate to avoid further harm. In practice, many of the principles overlap with what we’ve already discussed: creating a sense of safety, trust, choice, collaboration, and empowerment. Ensure the person feels safe and not judged. For example, if a classmate gets visibly upset during a discussion on climate change (maybe the smoky skies from wildfires triggered them), you might offer to step outside with them to get some air and talk. Give them control over what happens next: “Would you like to find somewhere quiet to sit for a bit? I can come with you if you want.” This offers choice and collaboration. Be sensitive to triggers – avoid graphic details or alarming statistics if someone is already in panic mode. Focus on helping them feel calm first. You can remind them gently to breathe, or suggest grounding techniques (like noticing five things around you to bring attention to the present moment). If they have experienced a direct climate disaster (for instance, their family had to evacuate due to a flood), acknowledge that trauma: “That sounds really scary. It makes sense that you’re still feeling on edge after going through that.” Realize that their emotional reactions (nightmares, anxiety during storms, etc.) may be tied to that experience. Reassure them that recovering from trauma takes time, and that they’re not “crazy” for reacting strongly – these reactions are normal human responses. Encourage self-care and patience with themselves. As a peer supporter, you don’t need to act like a counselor dissecting their trauma; your role is to be a steady, caring presence and to help them engage the support they need. Sometimes just sitting together in solidarity – even silently – can be healing, as it combats the isolation that trauma often brings. If the person doesn’t want to talk about the event, don’t force it. You can simply say, “I’m here if you ever do want to talk, or even if you just want company.” That alone reinforces that they’re not alone and you aren’t scared away by their difficult experience.

Finding Hope and Strength Together: Supporting someone through climate anxiety isn’t only about fear and pain – it can also be about hope and empowerment. Once you’ve listened to your friend and helped them calm down, consider ending on a note of hope. This doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine; it means reminding them that their feelings, while heavy, are also a sign of how much they care – and that care can be a motivator for positive action. Psychologists point out that we can help each other strike a balance: yes, things are worrying, and there are solutions being worked on. For instance, after validating a friend’s despair, you might gently ask, “What’s one thing that usually makes you feel a bit better?” If they’re not sure, you could suggest an uplifting activity. Some might find comfort in nature – going for a walk or bike ride together, or even just sitting under a tree to recharge (being in green spaces can reduce stress and boost mood). Others might feel better doing something tangible, like writing a letter to an official or creating art about their feelings. Encourage hope by highlighting community: remind them that they are not alone, and many people are working hard on this crisis. You can say, “I know it sometimes feels hopeless, but there are lots of people – scientists, activists, everyday folks – making a difference. We’re in this together.” Sometimes, just knowing that others share their concern and are taking action can lift the sense of isolation and powerlessness.

At the same time, emphasize that it’s okay to take breaks. No one can carry the weight of the world 24/7. Suggest doing something fun or relaxing as a way to recharge – watch a silly movie, play a sport, listen to music, whatever gives their mind a rest. Balance is key; as one Australian guide puts it, find a mix between “the serious stuff in life and fun” to avoid burnout. Taking care of our mental health isn’t a selfish distraction from climate action – it’s what allows us to stay engaged for the long haul. In fact, mental wellness should be seen as part of climate resilience. By helping each other find moments of joy and calm, we strengthen our ability to face the challenges ahead.