Chapter 3. Starting the Conversation

Talking to children about climate change can feel daunting – many parents struggle to balance honesty about the crisis with the instinct to protect kids from fear (1). Yet opening up these conversations is crucial. Children and teens in Canada and around the world are already aware of climate change and often feel strong emotions about it. In one recent survey, over half of young Canadians reported feeling afraid, sad, anxious or powerless about climate change (2). By gently starting the conversation, parents can help their kids make sense of these feelings in a safe, supportive way. This chapter offers trauma-informed guidance on how to initiate and sustain age-appropriate talks about climate change and emotions, from preschoolers to high schoolers. The tone you set – warm, open, and validating – can make all the difference in helping your child feel heard and hopeful.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Children need to feel emotionally safe and supported before they can engage in tough topics. Start by being present and available. Choose a time and place where your child feels comfortable and you won’t be interrupted. For example, many parents find that casual moments – during a relaxed family walk, car ride, or while doing a quiet activity together – can be less intimidating than a formal sit-down talk. Avoid springing the conversation on a child when either of you is rushed or stressed. If your child brings up climate change at a challenging moment (like bedtime or when you’re busy), it’s okay to acknowledge the importance of their question and gently schedule a better time (“I really want to talk about this with you. Let’s chat after dinner when we can both focus, okay?”).

Location can also set the tone. Some families find that talking outdoors in nature helps ground the discussion. Surrounded by trees or looking at the sky, children may feel the connection to the environment and understand what’s at stake, without the conversation feeling too abstract or scary. Motherly, a parenting resource, suggests that the “great outdoors” can be an ideal place to bring up climate change naturally during play or exploration (3). In a park or backyard, you might point out a cool bug or a beautiful tree and lead into a chat about how all living things are connected, opening the door to the topic in a gentle way.

Every family is different, so think about what supportive environment means in your home. It might be a cozy spot like the couch during a quiet morning, or a routine like a weekly chat after watching a nature show. Aim for an atmosphere of calm and trust. As the parent, try to regulate your own emotions too – children take their cues from you. Speaking in a calm, reassuring voice (even if you feel worried inside) helps your child feel secure. If you’re anxious about climate change yourself (as many parents are), consider processing some of those feelings with another adult beforehand, so you can be fully present for your child. Above all, reassure your child that they can ask questions or share feelings anytime. Let them know you are interested in what they think and feel, and that you will listen without judgment.

When and How to Start the Conversation

Follow your child’s lead whenever possible. If a young person in your life brings up climate change on their own – perhaps after a school lesson or seeing something on the news – start by finding out what they know and how they feel (4). You might begin with a gentle, open-ended question like, “That’s interesting – what have you heard about climate change?” Then listen carefully to their response (more on active listening below). Older kids might surprise you with how much they know. Younger kids may have heard only bits and pieces. Tailor your response to their level. If they mention something incorrect or alarming (“My friend said the world is going to end next year!”), you can calmly correct misinformation and provide reassurance. But first, hear them out completely. This shows respect for their thoughts.

If your child hasn’t brought up climate change yet, you can look for natural openings. Perhaps your family notices unusual weather, like smokey skies from a wildfire or an especially late winter snowfall. You could use that moment to gently say, “I read that climate change is making wildfires more common – have you learned about climate change in school?” Keep your tone casual and inviting. Another opening might be through media: if you’re watching a documentary or your child reads a story involving nature or the environment, ask what they think about it. Gauge their interest and comfort – if they seem engaged, continue; if they show disinterest or distress, be ready to pause (more on this below in Active Listening).

Importantly, for very young children, you don’t need to force the topic if they’re not ready. Early on, focus on nurturing their love for nature. Taking walks, observing animals, and talking about caring for our home (earth) lays groundwork. The David Suzuki Foundation notes that if younger kids aren’t bringing up climate issues, it’s fine not to initiate a detailed climate conversation yet – instead, “focus on nurturing a love of nature” until they’re more ready (4). There’s no rush; what’s important is that they know you’re open to talking whenever questions do arise.

On the other hand, don’t avoid the topic forever. By late elementary school, most children will have heard about climate change from somewhere. Silence can sometimes be interpreted as that the topic is taboo or too terrible to mention. Kids might then imagine things are worse than they are. It’s better that they hear accurate, honest information from a loving parent than hearsay from peers or scary snippets from the internet. As one expert put it, climate change may cause kids anxiety, but parents should not deal with this by hiding the truth – honesty (in age-appropriate doses) is usually the best policy (5). A UNICEF guide for parents also emphasizes being open and truthful, while balancing facts with hope (6). In short: don’t panic, but don’t pretend nothing is wrong. Your kids need to know you will tell them the truth and face it together.

Active Listening and Validating Feelings

Once the conversation starts, one of the most powerful things you can do is simply listen. Active listening means giving your full attention and showing that you care about what your child is saying. Put aside distractions, maintain eye contact (if that’s comfortable for your child’s culture and personality), and use encouraging signals like nodding or saying “I hear you.” Resist the urge to jump in with corrections or immediate solutions. Your child might need to vent fears or express confusion before they’re ready to hear any reassurance. Listening patiently is key to helping them feel safe.

In practice, active listening often involves asking open-ended questions and then truly hearing the answers. For example, you might ask, “How do you feel when you hear about climate change?” or “What are you most worried about?” Give them time to think and respond – don’t rush to fill silence. When they do share, acknowledge it. Our Kids’ Climate, an international network for parents, suggests starting with an open question to gauge what your child thinks and how worried they are, then letting that guide the discussion. They also note that if a child seems anxious and has trouble naming their feelings, you can gently help put labels to emotions (“It sounds like hearing that made you feel scared, is that right?”) and let them know those feelings are normal.

Validating your child’s feelings is essential. Validation means you accept and understand their emotion, even if it’s hard to hear. Avoid saying things like “Oh, don’t be scared” or “It’s not that bad, don’t worry.” Even if well-intentioned, dismissive responses can make a child feel isolated in their fear. Instead, acknowledge their reality: “I can see why that makes you upset” or “It is frightening to think about these things, isn’t it?” Research on climate conversations highlights that one of the most important things adults can do is let young people express their feelings and show that we understand their concerns are real (7). This kind of compassion, coupled with active listening, creates a true connection and sense of safety for the child (7).

You can use simple phrases to validate and normalize what they feel. For instance, say your teenager confides, “The news about ice caps melting makes me really anxious.” A validating response could be: “I understand. The news today was scary, and I can see why you’re upset” (8). Follow up with reassurance of their strength and your support: “It’s okay to feel this way – it means you care. I know it’s a lot to handle, but we’ll figure it out together.” Similarly, with a younger child who says, “I’m scared that all the animals will die,” you might respond, “Hearing about animals being in danger can make you feel really sad or scared – that’s a normal feeling to have. Sometimes I feel that way too” (7). By echoing their emotions and showing you take them seriously, you help your child feel understood. In a trauma-informed approach, this step of bearing witness to their feelings – allowing anger, sadness, or fear to be voiced – is crucial for healing and coping. It tells your child they are not “crazy” or “babyish” for feeling this way; many people, even adults, feel the same in the face of climate change (9).

Another part of active listening is knowing when to pause or take a break. Climate change can be an overwhelming topic. Be alert to your child’s cues. If you notice them shutting down, changing the subject, or getting unusually quiet or agitated, check in: “Do you want to keep talking, or would you rather take a break?” Make it clear that it’s okay if they’ve had enough for now. One Canadian parent, Tara Beck from Edmonton, describes how she narrates climate-related things to her kids in everyday life but pays close attention to their reactions. “Sometimes they say, ‘Can we stop talking about this?’ and that’s how I know they’re getting overwhelmed or bored. Either way, I always respect those wishes and wait for the next moment of readiness to continue the conversation.” (4). This is a great example of letting the child set the pace. Pushing a conversation when a young person has hit their limit can backfire – they may associate the topic with stress. By contrast, respecting “I need a break” signals builds trust. It shows your child that their emotional safety comes first. You can always resume the discussion later when they’re ready.

Finally, active listening means keeping the dialogue two-sided. It’s not a lecture; it’s a conversation. Acknowledge your child’s contributions (“That’s a really good point” or “Thank you for telling me how you feel”). If you don’t know the answer to a question, admit it and propose finding out together. This humility models that it’s okay not to have all the answers, and that learning is a joint journey. By actively listening and validating, you create a foundation of trust. Only on that foundation can you gradually build understanding, coping strategies, and hopeful outlooks.

Tailoring the Talk to Your Child’s Age

Children’s understanding and emotions about climate change will vary widely by age. A preschooler’s needs are very different from a teenager’s. Here, we offer age-differentiated guidance and sample dialogue for roughly three age groups – young children, middle years, and teens – recognizing that every child develops at their own pace. Use your knowledge of your child; you can adapt these suggestions up or down as needed.

Early Childhood (Preschool & Early Elementary)

Keep it simple and positive. For children roughly ages 3 to 7, the goal is to introduce ideas of caring for the Earth without causing alarm. At this age, kids are building their relationship with the natural world. Focus on concrete, relatable concepts. You might explain climate change in very basic terms if they ask – for example: “The Earth is getting warmer in some places, which can be hard for plants and animals. Grown-ups are working on helping the Earth stay healthy.” Young kids think in very immediate, tangible ways, so use examples they can see or feel: rain, plants, animals, the temperature outside. Emphasize hope and solutions as much as possible here. They might enjoy hearing about how planting trees or recycling helps animals, or how turning off lights saves energy.

At this age, it’s usually not necessary to dive into scary details. Shield them from doomsday news – they don’t need to hear about polar bears starving or forests burning at five years old. Instead, nurture their love for creatures and the outdoors. Take them outside to play and explore whenever you can, as experience precedes explanation. If your little one comes to you with a worry (“I heard on TV that the ice is melting – will Santa’s home disappear?”), address it honestly but gently: “The North Pole is changing, but there are people helping to keep it cold enough for the animals there. Santa is going to be okay.” Then pivot to something empowering: “Do you want to see what we can do to help the earth? Maybe we can water that little tree in our yard – trees love water on hot days.” This shifts the focus from fear to caring action, appropriate to their level.

Sample Conversation with a young child:

Parent: While drawing together: “I love your picture of the forest! You know, the forest likes when we take care of it. Sometimes the weather gets too hot for the trees. Maybe we can help by giving the trees in our park some water. What do you think?”

Child: “Why does it get too hot?”

Parent: “Because the air around the Earth is getting warmer. It’s something called climate change – kind of like when you wear a big coat inside and get too warm. Some places feel like they have too many blankets on! But a lot of people are helping. And we can help too in little ways. How does it make you feel to know the Earth has a fever?”

(Listen to the child’s answer, validate any feelings, and keep the tone upbeat.)

For young kids, storytelling and play can also be great tools. You might read storybooks that address environmental themes in a gentle way or invent a bedtime story about animals working together to clean up their habitat. Keep the conversation short and soothing. If a child seems distressed, reassure them: “You’re safe, and we’re taking care of you and our home.” End on a comforting note like a hug and perhaps doing a small positive activity (watering plants, saying goodnight to the moon, etc.). The aim is that they associate caring for the Earth with love, safety, and teamwork – not fear.

Middle Years (Tweens & Pre-teens)

By the middle years (roughly 8–12 years old), most children have learned about climate change in school or from media. They might also be noticing climate-related events in their community (like heavier rainstorms or smoky skies in summer). Start by asking what they know. Kids this age often have lots of facts at their fingertips – sometimes more than we expect. You might be surprised to find your 10-year-old explaining the carbon cycle or talking about electric cars. Encourage them to share their understanding: “What have you learned about climate change?” Listen and gently correct any major misconceptions. Pre-teens can handle more complexity, but they are also prone to worry as their awareness grows.

Acknowledge their feelings and questions openly. Children in this age group might oscillate between curiosity and anxiety. One moment they’re matter-of-factly reporting what they read; the next, they confess “Sometimes I’m scared about the future.” Normalize this. Let them know many kids (and adults) feel the same way and that it’s okay to talk about those feelings. Don’t shy away from the hard feelings. In fact, some youth have noted that it’s harmful when adults ignore or minimize kids’ climate anxieties (4). If your child says, “I feel really sad thinking about animals losing their homes,” try to sit with that emotion together before rushing to say “but we’ll fix it.” A validating reply could be: “I understand. It is sad to think about, and it’s alright to feel that way. I sometimes feel that way too when I read the news.” By doing this, you’re giving them permission to feel the grief or anger. Only after validating can you gently guide the conversation toward hope and action.

Pre-teens also respond well to concrete examples and problem-solving. At this age, you can be relatively honest about the challenges – e.g., “Yes, climate change is a big problem. Scientists say we need to use less oil and coal so the Earth doesn’t heat up too much.” But crucially, pair every problem with a discussion of solutions (6). For instance, talk about exciting technologies (like solar panels or electric school buses) or community efforts (a local tree-planting event, kids doing a recycling campaign at school). Emphasize that adults are working on this, and kids can help too, but it’s not all on them to fix it. One thing to guard against is unintentionally making children feel like it’s their responsibility alone to solve climate change. Experts advise against framing it as a burden for the next generation (4). Instead, stress that we’re all in this together, and grown-ups have a duty to lead the way – but kids and teens can certainly be part of positive change if they want.

Sample conversation with a pre-teen:

Child (age 11): “They taught us about climate change in class. It’s so scary. Are we going to be okay?”

Parent: “It can definitely feel scary. I felt worried too when I first learned all the facts. Climate change is a real problem, and it’s already affecting people, even here in Canada. How do you feel about what you learned?”

(Child might express feeling anxious or upset.)

Parent: “I’m really glad you told me that. Feeling anxious or sad is completely normal. It means you care. But I want you to know we’re not alone in this – there are lots of really smart, caring people working on solutions. Remember how we read about that community that built a wind farm to power their town? And your school is starting a compost program. These things make a difference. Why don’t we brainstorm one or two things we could do at home or in our town to help? Only if you want to. And no matter what, we’ll face these changes together as a family.”

In this dialogue, the parent validates the fear, provides truthful information (climate change is real and affecting people), but also points to solutions and collective action to instill hope. Active listening is shown by asking how the child feels and acknowledging it. Open-ended questions keep the child engaged (“How do you feel about...?” “What do you think of...?”). Notice the parent also says “if you want to” when suggesting action – empowering the child but not pressuring them. For many pre-teens, taking some action (like doing a beach cleanup, writing a letter, or simply reducing waste at home) can convert helplessness into a sense of agency. It’s beneficial to discuss possible actions because it shows that problems can be tackled, and it channels anxiety into purpose. Just be careful to follow their interest. Some kids will leap at the idea of doing a project; others might feel better just talking and understanding that the adults have got this. Both reactions are okay.

Finally, at this age encourage questions, questions, questions. Let your child know no question is silly or off-limits. If they ask, “Is it true that humans might go extinct?” take a breath and answer as calmly as possible, keeping it honest but age-appropriate: “Scientists say that’s extremely unlikely. Humans are very resourceful. Climate change is about making life harder, especially for vulnerable people, not about all humans dying. It’s serious, but it’s something we are working hard to solve.” Answer what you can, and for what you can’t, propose finding the answer together online or from a book. This not only gives them information but teaches them how to learn and cope with uncertainty, which is a lifelong skill.

Teenagers (High School Age)

Talking with teens (13 and up) can be a whole different ballgame – often deeper, sometimes more challenging, but also incredibly rewarding. Teens are able to grasp nuance, science, ethics, and they likely have had some exposure to climate change news, possibly even activism. Many teens today are quite informed; some may even be more up-to-date on climate politics than their parents! However, teens also feel the weight of the future intensely, and many report feelings of anger, betrayal (“why haven’t adults fixed this?”), or despair about climate change. A study across several countries found a high proportion of teens feel that humanity is doomed or that leaders have failed them on climate – sentiments that can really impact their mental health (2).

Open the dialogue with respect and empathy. With teenagers, it’s important to come in not as a lecturer but as an ally and sounding board. You might start by referencing something you both saw: “I noticed you were watching that Greta Thunberg video – what did you think about it?” or “The news about the heatwave was intense. How are you feeling about all this climate stuff lately?” Keep it casual and non-judgmental. Show curiosity about their thoughts. Many teens appreciate when parents acknowledge the seriousness of climate change rather than downplay it. You can say upfront, “I know climate change is a big deal and it worries me too. I’m interested to hear your perspective.” That signals you’re not going to dismiss their concerns as “teen angst.”

Validate and don’t trivialize what might seem like pessimism. If a teen says, “What’s the point? We’re screwed anyway,” instead of scolding the negativity, explore it: “It sounds like you’re feeling pretty hopeless. I can understand why – there’s a lot of bad news out there.” This opens the door for them to explain more. Often, after expressing despair, teens do have a part of them that still hopes – but they need to feel heard first. Provide a safe space for anger too. Teenagers might be angry at previous generations or at government inaction. Let them know it’s okay to feel angry and that you don’t take their anger personally or dismiss it. For example, “I hear how angry this makes you. Honestly, I feel angry about it too – and I’m sorry our generation has left you a mess to clean up.” Such an admission can be powerful in building trust. It shows humility and solidarity.

When talking facts with teens, treat them as partners in understanding. They can grasp complex cause and effect, and they may want to dive into discussions about energy, politics, economics, or ethics. If you have expertise, share it, but be careful not to dominate. If they correct you on something (“Actually, no, that policy was overturned last year”), be gracious: “Oh, thanks for updating me – I didn’t know that.” Invite them to share what they’ve learned. You can even ask their opinions on big questions: “Do you think technology will solve this? What do you think governments should do?” Such questions show you value their insight, which boosts their confidence and critical thinking.

Focus on solutions and resilience – but collaboratively. Teenagers can smell hollow positivity a mile away. They don’t want to be patronized with “Cheer up, it’ll all be fine.” Instead, engage them in realistic hope. Discuss actual climate solutions (renewable energy growth, climate agreements, youth activism successes). Talk about people making a difference – including young leaders from diverse backgrounds (you could mention Canadian youth activists or Indigenous land defenders, for instance). The David Suzuki Foundation article notes that kids find inspiration in seeing their peers take action, but cautions not to frame it as “now it’s on your generation to fix this” (4) (4). Make sure your teen knows they personally are not responsible for solving climate change. They can contribute if they want, but the burden of saving the world does not rest on their shoulders alone. We as a society must work together.

Sample conversation with a teen:

Teen: “I read that we’re likely going to overshoot the 1.5°C target. Honestly, I feel like nothing we do matters because politicians just don’t care.”

Parent: “It’s true, the 1.5 mark is in danger – I saw that too. It is really frustrating when it seems like those in power aren’t doing enough. I sometimes feel pretty hopeless too, to be honest.”

Teen: “Yeah. I just don’t see the point in, like, even going to college if the world’s gonna be a wreck.”

Parent: “I hear you. That sounds scary, feeling like the future might be a wreck. I wish I could promise you everything will be fixed by the time you’re my age. I can’t promise that… but I can promise that I will keep doing everything I can, and that there are a lot of people out there who haven’t given up. Did you know that in the last year, investment in solar energy worldwide actually surpassed investment in oil? (4) There are signs of progress. It’s slow, but it’s happening. How do you feel when you hear things like that?”

Teen: “I guess it’s good to know some stuff is moving. I didn’t know about the solar thing.”

Parent: “There’s a lot of hopeful stuff if you look for it. Like I read about a group of high school students in Halifax who started a project to restore a local marsh – it actually helped protect their town from flooding. It’s okay to feel cynical, but I do believe your generation also has more tools and allies than you might think. And no matter what, I want you to have a fulfilling life – that is still possible. We might just have to adapt to new challenges. How about we make a pact to support each other? When I get discouraged I’ll talk to you, and you can talk to me when you need to, deal?”

In this hypothetical dialogue, the parent doesn’t shy away from the teen’s hard line (“nothing we do matters”) but validates the underlying fear. The parent then offers some real data as a counterpoint to despair (the mention of solar investment surpassing oil is an example of a positive trend – ensure any fact you use is accurate and recent). The parent invites the teen’s reaction to that hopeful fact, rather than just dumping it on them to force optimism. They also share a local example (which could resonate more than global stats) and reiterate partnership and emotional support (“pact to support each other”). This kind of collaborative, honest conversation can help teens feel less alone and possibly more motivated. It’s about striking a balance: acknowledge the gravity (no Pollyanna speeches) and highlight meaningful progress to combat total despair.

Remember that for teens, sometimes the conversation may lead to action as a natural next step – and that can be therapeutic. If your teen is passionate about doing something (joining climate strikes, starting a school club, changing household habits), work with them to channel that energy in healthy ways. Support them, but also help them set boundaries so they don’t burn out. A trauma-informed lens reminds us that action is empowering, but over-investment can also become stressful if a young person feels singularly responsible for fixing enormous problems. Encourage activism as one part of a balanced life, not an all-or-nothing endeavor. And if your teen isn’t interested in activism, that’s okay too. They might cope through art, humor, time with friends, or other ways of finding joy amidst uncertainty. Keep the conversation going about how they’re feeling as they navigate these choices.